Ok, I need a favor. I need you to pack a bag, or really your entire house, quit your job, and move to Italy. Once you get there, could you please send me a letter? And maybe a slice of pizza? I think that is the only way I’m going to find a penpal.
I tried Interpals, but it seems to be more of a dating site, or even a mail-order bride site, because within hours of signing up, I got this message:
WILL YOU MARRY ME? IN INDIA ON WEDNESDAY?
I said no, because honestly Thursday worked better for me.
The website shows a little green dot when you’re online, which to men browsing the site must look like a flashing, neon “creep me out NOW” sign. Every time I logged in, I was treated to something like this gem:
hello, i am an electronic engineer, i like sci-fi and junk food. i dont drink and dont smoke either, my favorite characters are Batman, Spider-man, Darth Vader, and Spock. I once drank 4 litters of coca-cola. I collect comic books, dvd and action figures.
Now that I’m reading that one again, I think I should pass it on to Dan. They sound like they have similar interests. I don’t know if Dan has ever drank a litter of anything though. Maybe our cats have?
I messaged 6 girls on that site, joined a Facebook group, and messaged 2 other girls on another site simply asking if they wanted to send letters back and forth, but no one ever replied to me, and frankly I don’t blame them because the whole thing just seems weird now. With all of the sites I found, you either have to pay money for people’s addresses, or deal with the nonsense.
So basically, I failed this one, which drives me insane, but it wasn’t for lack of effort. I tried a few different sites and sent 8 sad messages. I do still have one last option to try thanks to a friend who already has a penpal from Europe. We shall see…
Honestly, I’m not really looking at this one as a fail because I’m actually really excited about something that I did come across. Tomorrow I am mailing a letter and a few small things to an Air Force airman stationed in Afghanistan!
I went through AnySoldier.com and got the address along with a list of items that the men and women need or want. Mine specifically asked for snacks & drink mixes, and I threw in the magazine hoping a funny story would brighten someone’s day.
Can we just talk about how hard it is to write a letter to someone who is risking their life for the sake of your country while you’re sitting at home on your own couch, in comfortable clothes, watching stupid reality TV? That was kind of a humbling experience. There’s not much to say that doesn’t make you feel like a complete idiot.
I kind of hope he doesn’t go and post my letter on his blog in a little grey box with a purple, typewriter font. That would be really mean and I’d never make fun of someone like that.